Drakkar Noir, Laundry, and Gym Funk: Spring, 2015 Edition

by Rob on May 12th, 2015

Spring has sprung!  So, too, has some people's funk.  It's become a bit of a regular reminder to re-post this message every 3-6 months, usually in response to a few members asking me to please do so.

So here you go.  Come on friends, be adults.  Wash your stuff.  Wash yourself. 
Anyone who grew up around the same time I did knows the magic that is Drakkar Noir.  It was Cool Water before there was Cool Water.  And Polo Sport?  Player, please.  Back in the day few things let the ladies know you were so fresh and so clean like the little black bottle from our friends at Guy Laroche, Paris.

The distinctive smell of Drakkar Noir reminds me of school dances, "running man" battles in Guess overalls, and the hottest band of 1991: C.M.B.
What doesn't remind me of these happy times long gone is the smell of someone's nasty gym funk.  You know what I'm talking about - that ominous, heavy, musty odor that can invade your workout space the way Karl The Fog swallows the 4th of July.

We realize that sometimes folks just don't notice that their shoes/socks/shirt/wrist wraps/body are getting a little gamey, and the occasional slip-up in slight stench can happen to all of us.  Life is busy, we get it.  But what I would like folks to remember is that repeated offenses of stank are uncool, distracting, and downright disrespectful to other members who share the gym space with you.

THE GOLDEN RULE IS: if you sense a slight funk anywhere on your person or property, then other people can sense it TEN-FOLD.  Trust me on this.  If you're in the corner thinking to yourself, "oh man, my hat smells a little nasty... I wonder if people can tell."  Yes.  Yes, they can.  And yes, they know it's coming from you.
A few helpful tips may aid some folks who simply don't realize that the battle against gym funk can be won:

1) Launder your gym clothes prior to each use.  This seems like a no brainer to some, but others may feel like it's excessive, and I can understand that point of view.  But I'm here to ask that you please do it for the sake of others around you who have to breathe hard and stay focused in workouts, just like you do.  Sweat and moisture breed bacteria, and bacteria is best friends with funk.  And yes, compression tights/gear counts as "gym clothes."  

2) Wash your wrist wraps, head wear, and other accessory gear regularly.  If they're made of fabric then they're likely machine washable.  If they're synthetic then a simple hand washing in the sink and thorough air dry should do the trick.

3) Let your weight belt and lifting shoes breathe.  Allow them to dry out when you get home or before you stash them in your gym bag for the next day or two.  If you place your shoes in our lifting shoe closet, consider getting a set of shoe fresheners to leave inside them - something like these which are cheap and convenient.

4) De-funk your knee sleeves regularly.  Knee sleeves are a big culprit of gym funk.  They're generally made of neoproene and the material is notorious for brewing up an offensive stink like no other.  If you've tried tossing them in the washing machine for a standard launder then you probably know that it doesn't work that well.  There are a couple of effective methods you can use to wash your knee sleeves, and here are some tips from our friends at CrossFit Invictus and CrossFit One World:
How to Wash Your Knee Sleeves
Get Rid of the Rehband Funk!!!

5) Take a shower prior to coming in to the gym.  Another way of saying this is "take a shower in-between workouts."  Obviously you don't have to shower immediately before coming in to work out, but if you're having a hard time remembering which day it was you showered last then I'm here to tell you "no, it's not a good idea to just wait until after your next workout."  You're an adult and two showers in one day won't kill you.  But one less than needed might kill the rest of us.

Please let us know if you have any questions, we are always happy to help - especially in matters of the nose.  If you think you might be a frequent offender of funk I implore you to utilize the methods described above - you have one week to figure it out, and then I'll start calling you out.  I may do it creatively and from a place of love, but I'll still be calling you out.
Menu Item #27 Hot & Spicy Knee Sleeve Stew
(Photo courtesy of CrossFit OneWorld
OK, now that we have all that sorted, back to dance-offs, Drakkar Noir, and moves that bring me back to the golden days.  Maybe I should bring back my high fade, Cross Colours jeans, and gold hoop earring:

WOD for 05-13-15:

Pause (1-inch above floor) Power Snatch:


6 Rounds for Time:
25 Double Unders
15 AbMat Sit-ups
5 Power Snatches @ 135/95 lbs

(Compare to 06-02-14 and 07-20-13)

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